TOP 8 MORONS OF 2007

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'.

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER ... THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

Summer Begins

Well, the road trips are over and the Holiday's complete. Now it is time to rest and catch up. A lot has happened and a lot of fun was had. Going back to work tomorrow will be hard for both Lady and myself.

Wild Mom is just planning and thinking up the sonny-do's. The list has been registered as a short novel. Muffins is doing fine and controls most of the property at Mom's house.

Lady made her Indiana trip with Lew and had a great time seeing all the relatives. Grandpa and Grandma made quite an impression ... don't they all? Lew had no trouble finding things to do. Their part of the road trip was uneventful except for meeting Papaw in Richmond IN for breakfast as he was heading to Colorado. It appears Lil Bit had a stroke Saturday and that placed a damper on a lot of things. He is fine now with no really noticeable after effects. The Doctor couldn't really find anything so, however now we will have to monitor him for a while.

#1 is now in Virginia. The trip was fun but long. After 51 hours of driving time in 5 days we are glad to park the truck and relax. I received a good dose of his music ... my ears are still filled with white noise.

#2 stayed home and held things together. The job still eludes him.

Peanut and AJ came and spent the weekend. The time spent holding AJ was priceless and a whole lot of fun. Peanut is recovering well and despite the eclair's malfunction ... we love her. Now all we need is more time with them.

Gung-Ho J is here and resting from her experience with the Corp. Now we must find time to get her to Florida. maybe there is a job out there for her ... hmmmm.

Whimpy

All quiet on the home front this weekend. With Lady and Lew gone to Indiana there was a lot of quiet time in the house. The summer youth bowling league started and we managed to go 3-1. I even managed to set an average that I feel good about. I truly hope the struggles of last season are over. At work the crap continues. people who don't have the faintest clue about the simplest of email things and others that are paid good money and are clueless about their job. I was able to find the correct files and get the downloaded and I had never messed with that crap before. Shoot, if enough bosses leave for the day and it gets down to the weenie level ... I could be king-for-the-day. Our church found out Sunday we will be getting a new Pastor in July. I leave Wednesday afternoon for Colorado and will be back on the 26th.

Wild Mom is doing ok but her computer is on the fritz. So I must find some time to get down there soon. Muffin is establishing his territory down there.

Lady is having fun in Indiana. Now I must find a way to talk her back home.

#1 is packed and ready. Only a few more days left till I hit the road to get him.

Peanut is healing great. We had a long lunch Sunday and chatted about everything ... mainly AJ. We finished off the afternoon with a trip to Toys-R-Us.

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Obama, if your wife spouts off about politics on your behalf, then she is fair gain for return words from the other side. Grow up.

God Squeezed Me so hard ... His love squirted out of my eyes

I ask myself "what really matters?" Sadly, only after you lose someone do we finally realize what we had. Then it is too late and many hours are consumed wishing we had it to do over. When my father died I mulled this same idea over and I feel then I made many changes. But now, I don't think I changed enough. It is like every day a loved one of yours that isn't told how much you love and appreciate them is a lost day. A lost chance to create a memory that will warm your heart when situations do keep you apart. I would venture to wonder just how much of a relationship you really have. If they mean something too you ... wouldn't they want some contact of even the shortest duration. I think of the "I will get back to you" or "we must do something soon" promises. For the most part they seem to mean ... "give me space and I might find time for you later."

• Does it really matter if we disagree or is better to have just spent that time seeing each other standing there?
• Does it really matter if we spend time together just drinking water or would it be better to always say "I will see you later."
• Does it really matter if we say "I will call soon" or would just five minutes face to face create a memory.
• Does it really matter if you say "I have to work, or I am busy, or catch me later or should we say "you are so important that I should drop everything and spend 5 minutes."
• I guess what matters is how much do I value you as a person. That value comes from how I make or spend my time with you. But also, your time tells me your value of me. So in the end I guess what really matters is you and me ... do we matter at all.

My Friend

George L. Wiseley
29 Jan 1943 - 13 May 2008

My friend, You will be missed but I will see you again one day.
Thanks for everything and I count it a privilege to have been your friend.

Thoughts through the Haze

George will have his next Surgery tomorrow. They will add plates and rods to stabilize his neck for side to side movement. They will also do a tracheotomy so they can eliminate the ventilator tube. They are trying to wean him off the major drugs so he is more aware of his surroundings. My prayers tomorrow will have a singular focus. Youth/Adult bowling starts Sunday and that too will be an interesting time. The rain has finally stopped but the sun is out with a vengeance and the grass is trying to make up the lost growing time. Lawn Mower to the rescue.

Wild Mom is anxious for me to get down there as her computer is really messed up. So I am trying to figure out the best time to go.

Lady is preparing for her road trip. I can only imagine what Lew is like as the day to leave gets closer. If it is anything like the weekend ... the excitement level will peg the meter.

Peanut is fine and healing nicely. Her feet are back to a normal size. AJ is growing and providing many good photo ops.

I keep pondering those who feel they have all the time in the world and I see how quickly that world can be turned upside down. Not only for them but for everyone around them. Every moment and memory is worth more than gold and will last longer than a diamond.

Dazed

Right now I am sitting in a daze and my heart hurts. My friend George had an accident and is paralyzed from the neck down and on a respirator. The doctor said the miracle will be when he gets off the respirator. As Connie, his wife said, George won't ever come home again. He is going to require medical attention that can't be provided at home. But I have to believe there is a greater miracle ... that is my faith. We have bowled together for almost 18 years.

Mother's Day was good ... Lady rested and had a quiet day. She is really looking forward to her trip home later this week. She went to the Sister's in Christ banquet with Peanut and Princess. They had a great time and ate too much food.

Wild Mom also enjoyed her day. The flowers I sent arrived a day late but they were really nice. I just have to find a way to get down there to wipe out that list of sonny-do's.

#1 is ready to come home and this week is his last to work. I am really looking forward to the ride home with him.

#2 may have a job ... fingers crossed.

Peanut managed to get out and go to the Sister's in Christ banquet at the church. She looked nice in her new dress ... now we have to work on them white legs. AJ is fine and growing. I will be glad when we can see and hold him on a regular basis. Soon!

Lew and Lil Princess were a blast. Wrestling matches were the order of the day. Even Princess managed to get caught in a few. Lil Princess was happy and laughing all weekend. Lew can't wait to head for Indiana ... especially when he got his new suitcase.

Cinco de Mayo

The mid-week hump is here. I finally had the stars align and I was able to do some yard work. Well, I worked too fast and too hard and my body let me know with cramps for the next few hours. But it did feel good. Maybe I can do some more Saturday ... well, a bit slower. We have many irons in the fire. Lil Bit feels better as he shed 10 pounds of hair. Now he looks like a dog and not a dust mop.

Wild Mom has been quiet lately ... perhaps Muffin has her trained.

Lady has been busy and is really looking forward to her trip home. This Saturday is the Mother/Daughter banquet. She is still not sure who will go with her.

#1 only has 10 more working days before his road trip back to Virginia. He will surely suffer from the lack of Bronco and Rockie hurrah.

#2 may have found a job ... but I will remain silent in case I spook it and it runs away from him.

Peanut is healing though it is too slow for her and for us. AJ is growing and eating everything she sticks in his mouth. Doctor appointments fill in any free time she has. Oh such are the trials of a "new mom." We are hoping she feels good enough to attend church Sunday for her first Mother's Day.

Lew and Lil Princess were the same this last weekend. We wrestled and played too hard as my knees barked at me. Lil Princess continues to get closer to walking.

May Day Fun

Well, the weekend is here and there is much to do. Sunday is payoff night for the bowling league. That makes the whole year fun. After the awards we will join some friends for dinner. We have been doing this after every league. Hopefully I will get some time to work in the yard before the rain comes Saturday afternoon. Friday night will be dinner with our buddies. Sure wish I had a movie partner to go and see a movie.

Wild Mom is fine and adjusting to Muffin. Now her focus is getting up here to hold babies and visit. I still have to find some time to get down there to deal with all them sonny-dos.

Lady is busy. She picked up some new mattresses for the #2's room and what will be #1's room when he comes.

#1 is enjoying the snow while we enjoy the sun and springtime. Less than 3 weeks till he heads home.

#2 is the same. At some point in time pride will kick in and he will get a job.

Peanut is home and doing well. AJ is sleeping, eating, and pooping like all babies. We just have to learn to cope with the withdrawal from not seeing him. Hopefully soon.

Lew and Lil Princess are the same ... active. Last Monday, she stood up from a crouch but walking was still a bit wobbly. She would take a step and fall. It is only a matter of time now.

Last night I was doing the bills like all good Americans do. The first envelope was the savings statement ... I got a whopping $0.69 in interest for the first three months ... a titillating $0.23 per month. The I opened the credit card statement, since I was one day late they charged $39.00 and raised my interest rate 10% more. If I didn't miss another one for 12 months they "may lower the rate" according to the statement. No guarantee they would. The pisser is this was the same company ... Capital One. Right now they at any one time average having $3000.00 of mine. I get crap from them in return for using my money and they squeeze me for blood for using theirs. I used $850 of theirs and they used $3000 of mine. So for April ... I get $0.23 and they get $39.00 + 25%. Any wonder that I now hate Banks. This whole relation will now get changed.