A Father's Memories and Prayer

Today my little girl, well, grown daughter to be exact entered the next phase of her life. One where I step aside for a young man to become the focus of her attention. The four hour drive home gave me a lot of time to reflect on the days events and to remember my little girl's life with us. It was amazing how the on-coming headlights kept blurring up my vision and forcing me to rub my eyes.

I thought of that young lady who came to us with so many issues. No child should ever have that much turmoil in their life. A child should be smothered in love and protected not used as a pawn to soothe someone's bruised ego. Those first few weeks required us to empty all our love out to her. But amazingly we recovered quickly and were ready for the next day. Even then we saw a beautiful young lady .. the same one who was so stunning on her wedding day.

She came in like a mini tornado and it didn't take long for her to draw us in and draw all our love for her. Now, I wish we could have had her in our life sooner. For what we have experienced and felt could have been even better. She was in many ways like the energizer bunny. Everything seemed to accelerate and move at a faster pace with her around. Life with her was like a mystery novel, we never knew what would come next. Those hugs and little but constant "I love you's" changed the dynamics of our life. She perfected those little coy looks and protests of "please". Yes, she probably had me wrapped around her finger ... but who could resist her smile and pleading. I sure couldn't.

I remember that first prom. From the hair disaster just days before the prom to the young lady that walked into the living room that night looking so grown-upand lady-like. From her arrival in our life looking all tattered and hurt to the sophisticated lady waiting for her escort, I now realize that sight was just a precursor to what she would look like on October 20, 2006.

Many times I wondered if she would ever pick a winner for a boyfriend. In reality, they weren't that bad but they weren't what a father had in mind for his little girl. She deserved only the best and that quality was hard to see in some of them. But she chose the best one when it counted --- Keith. I have been impressed since I first met him. But you know, she chose him and showed me my little girl had heard a little bit of what I had said as she grew up.

The trials and tribulations of school really tried the bonds between us. It was easy to tell us what we wanted to hear but the reality of the words never matured. But even though we seldom saw eye to eye, she got a raw deal when the school quit on her and her dream of a Diploma vanished when they asked her to leave. I believe you should never give up on a child, love them and support them and you will be rewarded. I hold my daughter up that way … love her and support her and she became a beautiful bride. But this spring when she crossed the stage and received her diploma I was proud as I could be. All those words I had spoken to what I thought was a wall at that time really had taken hold and she did it on her own. My little girl was becoming a woman with a dream.

I think of the many hair colors, the black, blue, purple, green, red and those colors that were mutations of the others when the dyes didn't go right. I laugh now at the thought that every time she dyed her hair we had to repaint the bath room. Those black/blue/red/green polka dots really gave it character. But they were her attempts to define herself. This weekend her hair was beautiful and not a hint of those dyes. My little girl had finally defined who she was and I was so proud.

In her other attempt to define herself, we struggled with her tattoos and many piercings as it was so different for us but she respected our feelings and really tried to tone it down when she was around us.

My little girl is now a grown lady and someone I am proud to call my daughter. I will miss the times she needed me to be her shining Knight for now I must step aside for her new hero. My job is now complete and I am proud of the results. I had the perfect canvas to work with, a beautiful, smart and energetic woman and I thank God he entrusted me with the task and the responsibility for his most precious creation. I wish I could have had more time but I will cherish every moment I did have. I know she is still here and I will be a part of her life forever but life has changed as it is God’s will and I take on my new role as mentor and future Grandfather.

Jessi – I love you and pray for your happiness and success and wouldn’t trade these memories for all the wealth in the world.