Juicer Up

Well, it is back to the grindstone until the next round of holidays. It is amazing how you can be caught up before the holiday and the day after the holiday you are swamped. Do they multiply while we are gone?

Thursday is "plan and sign-up for the Southern Mediterranean Cruise" night. Anyone have a good technique for making the days go faster so Nov 2007 gets here sooner? Needless to say we are excited about it and our time with Carl and Lynne.

Friday night is another Birthday dinner. Toy-Toy hits the ripe old age of 17. Maybe I ought to dunk her in no-grow stuff to stop her from growing up. I wonder if the threat of 17 birthday spanks would slow her down.

Wild Mom: Off to England. I am waiting for the call from the Queen saying that Mom is being deported while the UK is in one piece. Bubbles is doing fine. There is nothing like having two dogs lying on each side of you. Sure is tough to get frisky that way. Maybe I should send them to Princess's room.

Lady: Slowly recovering from all the cooking and baking. Work for her is the usual ... loads of fun and just enough for her day.

Star: After having so much fun in Georgia, she is settling back into the work scene and the moving scene as they get ready to move tomorrow. Sure miss her. You know, it isn't fair they have to have another life ... right when they get to be fun and you can relate too them .. They up and get married. Let's let them get married as toddlers and then get divorced when they turn 21 and then live at home. That would avoid the dirty diapers, raising them and that host of other of growing up problems. I love to hear her dream of the next goal in her life ... why? ... Because I know she will make it.

Princess: Another night of hair coloring. Remind you of any one? Now I have first hand knowledge now to enable me to judge who is harder to raise ... girls or boys. Man is that a tough call. She did provide a few laughs Tuesday night when she went to MacDonald’s wearing her mom’s shoes. Since she just quite didn’t fill them … she managed to unceremoniously fall down and plop her rear end on the floor at MacDonald’s. Was that how she split her pajama bottoms? I thought I heard her smack as she hit the floor. Oh well, who knows what really happened. But she did get her chocolate milkshake anyways.


MLB should have a rule that no juice junkie (McGwire) can be inducted into the Hall Of fame same year a REAL player is (Ripken). I have given up on MLB doing the right thing and banning the Juicer’s.

Good Job to Glenn Beck (CNN) on his expose on Terrorism … I learned a lot.

Scratch the ALL MY CHILDREN show from the list of watched shows as they make a Transgender person a leading character. What is next? Could it be a show where all the supporting characters are animals? I can see the headlines now – “New Episode – Molly the sheep raped as Tommy is unfaithful to Petunia Pork – Don’t miss this exciting episode on the daytime soap – “All My Furry Friends”

When will we get some real sports heroes? One that respects the fans and plays the game because they love to play. I am getting tired of these spoiled, over-paid, prima donnas who think they are better than anyone. That includes the player on another team who is a spoiled, over-paid, prima donna. Fine Vick such as it will get his attention … shoot, he will make that back in one quarter next week. We have tolerated this way too long and the list is getting larger. At one time only 1 player in the sport had a problem … now every team has one. Are we so starved for ratings that we now tolerate negative images as our role models? I know the Media does because that is how they make their money. Accentuate the negative because it sells.

Jeeper -- By Golly

As I sat here all fat, dumb and happy after the Holidays and writing my second post of the day, I can’t help but reflect. I wish I could find a way to really make a difference but all I seem to do is get more frustrated with the antics of some real knuckleheads. Choosing between Pumpkin Pie and Sweet Potato casserole is easier.

A friend just can’t keep the monster in his pants. He is always looking for a reason to dump the marriage and then his poor wife out of confusion makes the sad statement of “We might as well divorce if we won’t try harder to make this work.” This blockhead has the house up for sell within 24 hours. He was waiting for the door to crack open. And as for the Lady he is after, she ought to know better that if he can’t keep it under control, what makes her the one to get him to stop. Sadly, she jumps from E-harmony to a married man waiting for a reason to jump ship. How long till she will be the one wondering “If we don’t try harder … ?“

I love the people who assume that if I accept you as part of the extended family that everyone in my family must also accept or see you that way. Excuse me, but only blood and legal status makes that assumption true. Don’t get mad and grouse at me because the other person sees it differently. And shame on you for assuming too much. Boy, does the turkey go down harder when that crap comes down.

Thanksgiving, I am so thankful for a lot this year. There were sad times but the good times far outweighed everything. As I reflect over this holiday, certain friends come to mind and I only wish them the best.

-- Lady. 31 years? It seems like yesterday. Can we dance another 31?

-- Carl and Lynne. I wouldn’t trade a minute of our time together this past year. You are a friend that is priceless.

-- My Writing partner. How I miss those stories to challenge me to write more and better. I know her life is twisting more than a Texas Tornado but the dream of writing stories still survives. I am still here and hurry back. Get that old man here so I can give him a tour of “The Wall.”

-- BT, yes I do still consider him a friend. We didn’t always see eye-to-eye but we did see. Maybe one day we will cross the blades in a spar that will rivet the spectators as we once did.

-- Blue. Hurry that rig back on this side of the world, knowing you is more fun than the Roller Coaster at Kings Dominion.

-- The Kids. Matthew, Michael, Jessi, Missy, Josh, Vicky, Toy. What can I say but I am Happy and love each one of you. May be I should just refer to this crowd as MMJMJVT. Is there a limit to how long this list gets? And will the fun increase as much?

My Oh My

Democratic Agenda for Janurary 01, 2007.

U.S. Capitol

7:00 PM Opening Flag Burning Ceremony

7:15 PM Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.

7:30 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:45 PM Non-Religious Prayer and Worship led by Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.

8:00 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:15 PM Gay Wedding performed by Barney Frank.

8:30 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:35 PM Free Sadam rally led by Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon.

9:00 PM Keynote Speech: "The proper Etiquette for Surrender" by Jacques Chirac, French President.

9:15 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:20 PM Collection to benefit the Osama Bin Laden Kidney Transplant Fund.

9:30 PM Unveiling of the Plan to free Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay by Sean Penn.

9:40 PM "Why I hate the Military" - A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton

9:45 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

9:50 PM Dan Rather accepts the "Truth in Broadcasting Award" presented by Michael Moore.

9:55 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:00 PM Speech - "How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers" by Howard Dean.

10:15 PM "How to cut the Military Budget by Educating the Troops so they won't have to be Deployed to Iraq." by John Kerry.

10:30 PM Hillary Rodham Clinton nominated for Party leadership by Mohammed Ahnadinejad.

11:00 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

11:05 PM Al Gore reinvents the Internet Demonstration.

11:15 PM Speech - "Our Troops are War Criminals" by John Kerry.

11:45 PM Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton

12:00 AM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:05 AM Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home.

R-E-L-I-E-F

Well, Thanksgiving has come and gone. As usual we ate too much, talked till we were hoarse and watched way too many football games. But --- It was so much fun. We had 13 eaters for Thanksgiving Dinner and not much was left over. The only thing missing was all the rest of my friends but that would have been tough to pull off. This year has been a good year and worth waiting for. Yes, there were things I wish would have been different but what I did experience was great.

Time for all the kids to supply their Christmas Wish Lists. Complicating the fact is keeping the cost less than a small fortune or bankrupting me. Make the idea of coal and switches does make sense.

Wild Mom: always on the go. She loves to eat out and shop. England will never be the same after her visit. Bubbles, her dog, loves the people and animals here at the house.

Lady: All those people to cook for placed her in her happy place. No one could help as she wanted to enjoy the moment.

#1: Doing fine in Colorado. He is finding out work there is just as not-fun as here. He still keeps hoping the Jaguars will win and accomplish something but like snow … it melts and dreams vanish.

#2: Nothing new. Up all night and sleeps all days. Boot Time? Could asking for job qualify for a Christmas gift?

Star: Celebrated the Holiday in Georgia. Sure wish she could have been here but one sad law of families .. You must share with the relatives. The van survived as expected. Now it is time to get serious about moving to their new place. I wonder if we will get the address and directions. We all know about the In-Laws. Love you girl.

Princess: She managed to spend some time with us this Holiday and that was nice. But we still can't find a restaurant she likes that we will go to. Nothing seems to be her favorite but greasy wings and hamburgers. Will we ever find something so we can have dinner with her? Life goes on.

Lew: Can start looking forward to a sibling.

Jen: A little down since the Seminoles LOST to the Gators. Oh well, she will get over it or become a Gator Fan. She is looking forward to the trip to London. The only question that remains is "which will give out first -- her wishes or her money?"

Yawn!

Well, it is back in the saddle time. The SHORT vacation is over and all went well. The party was a success and everyone talked too much as well as eating too much. I got all the sonny-do's I could get too but as usual the list is longer than the time I have. The drive down and back was long but we made it without incident. We had planned to drive over the Great Smokey Mountains but a snow storm came just before us and closed the road. So we had to back track and come around the long way, oh well, maybe next year.

We should be here through the Holidays. Nothing is planned until the end of March -- Reno! Next cruise --- Nov 2007 --- Southern Mediterranean

Back to work tomorrow. This should prove to be interesting. I have heard nothing from Job 2 so I will assume all is done there and my life's journey takes me elsewhere. Who knows where Job 1 will take us.

Wild Mom: She is a pack-a-holic. Not often I see my Cadillac trunk packed full but on the trip home I did. The last time I closed the trunk it took 5 tries to get it to latch. But we made it home without the trunk popping open or dragging bottom. Though the dragging bottom part came close. She enjoyed the party but it also was a lot of work. Good thing it only comes around every 4 years. Next stop --- England --- this will be like a reverse invasion when the Redcoats came to America in the 1700's.

Lady: Glad to be home and in her own bed. She missed many things and looks forward to getting back into the routine.

#1: Doing well in the Mountains. He still roots for Jacksonville instead of a much better team -- Bronco's. But he is young and impetuous and will come to his sense one day.

Star: Getting ready to head south for the holidays. I hope the trip is safe ... especially since she will be driving my van. No, she means more than the van. Love you.

Princess: Out running around, saw her for a little bit but she is already back with her friends.

Utah scene: Might be a girl.

Would you ever believe ...

You are The Magician

Skill, wisdom, adaptation. Craft, cunning, depending on dignity.

Eleoquent and charismatic both verbally and in writing,
you are clever, witty, inventive and persuasive.

The Magician is the male power of creation, creation by willpower and desire. In that ancient sense, it is the ability to make things so just by speaking them aloud. Reflecting this is the fact that the Magician is represented by Mercury. He represents the gift of tongues, a smooth talker, a salesman. Also clever with the slight of hand and a medicine man - either a real doctor or someone trying to sell you snake oil.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Sun and Fun --- The wet way

Well, we made it to Wild Mom's. It rained on us almost the whole way down but it was uneventful. The car ran fine and made the ride really nice. Why did we wait so long to get this car? For those with inquiring minds: the second job. With the long drive it left me with plenty of time to think on things and get a clearer perspective on the events of the last week. We spent Tuesday night at our usual place -- Comfort Inn in Sevierville Tn. We have been there so many times it seems like home. Almost! Tomorrow starts all the running around.

Wild Mom: She can still cook or at least tell Jennifer how too. Not too many sonny-do's, so I might get an hour free sometime this week. The house looks nice and in a lot of ways the same.

Star: Her and hubby finally got his papers so he can pursue his dreams and get on with their life. Gee, I wonder if my van has been jacked and raised yet and then painted with flowers and such. Shoot, it might come back tattooed and pierced!

Utah Scene: baby due the end of January.

I see the Anglican Church is changing its position to allow babies with severe physical handicaps and premature to be terminated in order to protect the quality of life for the parents. Even if the physical ailments aren't that bad, if the parents will suffer extreme hardship then they can have the child terminated. Were are we going? Will the elderly be next? The Article if you wish to read it.

I know that I am on the backside of the mountain of life so this is an interesting question for me. Will care be withheld from me because I am old and feeble and the health dollars should be saved for the young and ones with a longer future? This will become a bigger question as the welfare recipients grow and the welfare dollars dry up. Who is to say that baby with all those problems may not have a tremendous impact on the world. Life is precious and should be given every conceivable chance to succeed. God created that child and who are we to say "God, you did a bad job and I will terminate that life."

Don't you love the second charge against Abramnoff? He is being charged with "attempting to corrupt a government official." Come on, Congressmen for one has no need of help in corrupting themselves. Look at how many are convicted, under investigation or under indictment. They, for the most part are as crooked as they can be, the only difference between them and the prisoners is that they haven't been caught yet. Stop prosecuting Abramnoff and start prosecuting the Congressmen and Senators.

That Lady General that is yelling for Rumsfeld to be prosecuted for War Crimes should be the first one charged. She said wants Rumsfeld charged but "she was the General in charge of the Prison." She is responsible for what went on in that place. She claims she didn't know. Then that is a confession of incompetence for as the general in charge she was obligated to know everything and because of her rank she had the responsibility and authority. So general, look at your pointing finger and know it points at you -- you failed to do your job.

Leaving -- On a Jet Plane

Well, less than 12 hours till we head for the sunny warm coast of Florida ... to work my buns off. Oh well, such is the life of an older son. The “kids” have elected not to go with us. A little disappointing as we really enjoy having them along and spending the time together, but they will be the one to miss all the fun. My cough is still hanging on. It is sticking to me better than a 4 week old pair of dirty shorts. This week was short but busy. We went to a Fall Festival at some friend’s house and it was a lot of fun. Lew found the bunnies a handful to hold but he did manage to kiss the goat's ear, though his efforts to pull the goat with his rope proved fruitless. As usual we snacked too much and returned home chilled and full. Bowling was a good this weekend going 4-0 and 5-2. The youth league has only 3 weeks left before the new season starts in January. Looks like we have chosen our cruise for next year ... an 11 day southern Mediterranean (Greece and south) in November 2007. Wonder if the stops include a skinny dipping beach?

Work scene: One down and only one left. A person will take only so much and then it is adios. Which one you ask? They will get the notice tomorrow.

Wild Mom: getting ready for the invasion on Saturday. It will be good to see her again. I can use these days to get her pumped up to go to England. Who knows, maybe #1 Brother will move home in self defense.

#1: As he says ... "I am not broke anymore." He got his first check. Rory is home from Iraq safe and sound.

#2: Hmmm, Still no job and running out of games to play.

Star: Her hair is back to a black and grey combo. We did get to see her and Soldier Boy this weekend. Married life does appeal to him. We had breakfast on Saturday and taught him the finer points of Chip Beef on Toast. Anyone need some size 0 jeans? :)

Princess: What can I say without getting into trouble? Had another sleep over with 5 young ladies. Shall we say the Yorkshire Firehouse now makes routine drive-bys just to check the house out. Oh, and another promise to clean the room. Nod-Nod-Nod. School grades are tolerable, Puppy demands are up, "I love you" is frequent, Work is constant, and we still love her. Not too bad. The new blip on the radar screen is some "cute fireman". Tighten the seat belts as the roller coaster just left the station. Guess I best get the baseball bat cleaned up for the first home visit by the "cute fireman." No pole climbing in this house.

JR: Still getting use to the routines at the Davis Carnival center. He had fun when the soda bottle and mentos came out at the fall festival. It is only natural for such an effervescent personality. Maybe we should call him Bubbles instead of JR?

Utah Scene: They like it so much in Mormonville that they will remain out there till next spring and then maybe move back home.

Still A Kickin

Sorry about not writing sooner but the flu has kicked me every which way but loose and is still trying to hit a few dark corners before he gives up. My energy is like a fizzling sparkler and my motivation is like a lead sled with a boat anchor dragging behind.

Work is still the same. At one site, the mail server and the domain server went down together. It picked the day when I was there by myself. These parts of the network were controlled by the 3rd party site but my new servers and site did not go down and wound up bailing them out but I created a whole lot of work for myself. It is fun watching some people go into panic mode and won't sit down for a moment and rationally think about what is the best way to recover. I could have made better time during the recovery if they would have just backed off and trusted me to do the right thing. I really wonder if it is worth all this.

The physical last week went well, at least a lot better than Bubba's. I won't get my final grade for it until the 28th so there is more to come at some point. Bowling this weekend went well but could have been better. Hanging in 2nd in one league and 3rd in the other. Tomorrow is voting day so I will have to figure out how to handle this so I can vote and still get downtown quickly and not loose too much time given the disaster today.

Wild Mom: Getting anxious for us to get down there on the 15th. I can imagine the sonny-do list size already. I wind up working harder on my vacation than I do at work. But for some wild unexplained reason it is worth it. Only Lady and I will be going down there as all the other kids have a million excuses why they can't. I am disappointed and too tired to fight over it, and to let it mess my time up, but I also know it is their loss, a major loss. With Dad gone now, I intend to cherish what few moments I do get to spend with Wild Mom. Why do we learn this lesson too late when those moments are lost forever?

Lady: Avoiding me so she won't get sick too. She is recovering from a weekend with Lew. There is no down time or rest time with him about.

#1: Doing fine in Snowland. The new job is coming along and by now he should be working on his own and taking control of the inventory. Now I just need him to get the cell phone costs under control.

#2: Same - Same. Though he did finally go to church (the reason he quit weeks ago). Good thing is Christie is back in control of him and will smack he a few good times and hopefully re-orient him.

Princess: She had a fun time this weekend on a run to "one of Prince William County's worst accidents" in a long time. No, sorry the water buffalo didn't jack-knife and had to be cooked down with napalm. This one was real and really bad. She was tired the rest of the weekend and slept a lot. So the puppy requests tapered off for a while. We are getting close to 2 months and no major scratches on her car. Oh, that gorgeous knock out of a Lady I saw at the wedding has gone only to be replaced but a blue clad work dungaree person (Fire House clothes). I knew it was too good to be true.

Brother #1: Any more eye tests on hold till the New Year. His next big test is when Wild Mom gets there and finds out he is goofing off and she gets on his case.

I am tired and it is almost dinner time. Hug someone today if you haven't and spend some time with them as if they really mean something. The moment will be gone in a breath.

Bubba Goes to Town.

While Bubba scratched his beard he silently wondered about his health. "Ya, know it has been a while since the Doc poked me. And Buckeye, my donkey has gotten really good care from Doc E." With that thought he threw a saddle on Buckeye and headed for the Doc's office. After a long climb up the mountain he finally made it there.

Sitting there in the Doctor's office, slowly related his family history. “Drink these two bottles of water for some tests later on.” The doctor wanted health history and what he got was the family history of the Do-Nuttin's. Barely surviving the story the Doctor showed Bubba the examination room with tears still in his eyes. "Take your clothes off and put that robe on with the opening to the back." Reluctantly Bubba slipped the bib overalls off followed by his boots. Halfway through Bubba scratched his head on the table edge, "Gee, maybe iffen the boots came off first it would be easier." Once that job was done he sat down on the table only to jump almost 2 feet high. Rubbing his naked butt from the cold table he fumed, “at least Bucky got hay to lie on.”

The Doc E showed up and proceeded to do a physical examination. The first problem came when the Doc used the “cute little hammer as Bubba called it” and promptly got one of bubba’s feet between the legs. “Whoa, Bubba exclaimed in a loud voice, Bucky can’t kick that good” as the doctor wallowed on the floor in pain. After what seemed an eternity, the Doc stood back up and asked Bubba to remove the robe and stand up. As usual Bubba got the sequence all wrong … removed the robe and then stood up … resulting in a headlong fall into the opposite wall as the robe cut him off at the knees. Bubba smiled as he stood up, knowing he would recover faster than the doctor though the hole in the wall would take a little longer to fix. As the doctor explained the exam of his testicles, Bubba backed up, “you aren’t one of them guys are you?” “No, by the way do they seem sore?” Bubba grinned, “Only iffen you squeeze them too hard!” The doctor proceeded following a loud pop from his orange rubber gloves and very carefully once he saw Bubba’s clenched fist hanging at his side.

After that was done, Doc asked Bubba to turn around and spread his legs as he leaned on the table. “Whoa, there!” “That is what I do to Bessie the cow to see iffen she has a calf! I know durn well I haven’t fooled around lately with any bull.” Doc smiled, “I know.” So then where are you going to stick that orange gloved hand with long fingers? Doc again smiled, where the sun don’t shine! Bubba thought a moment before he spoke. “Then you best get moving cuz the moon is on the other side of the world and that is not where I am at.” The doctor surprised him, “Don’t worry, it will pinch a bit and you will feel some pressure.” The pinch was there but Bubba responded … hey, you just pushed that durn finger into my eye.”

Next a nurse showed up to take some blood. “You like that purple hair on Halloween?” “No, I do this all the time. Purple is my favorite color.” All the while he tried to see if she had long teeth and was a vampire since she took 3 vials full.

With that done, the nurse, Miss NoGoodBody, showed up to take him to the lab. Put your pants on and then the robe and follow me. “Can I go to the bathroom, as he was dancing a bit?” “No, later!” Once dressed they headed for the sonogram room. As he followed her he noticed the names of the rooms, Mammo 1, Mammo 2, and Mammo 3. “Are you sure we aren’t in the wrong place because only Bessie has the teats on my farm?” She smiled, “Yes we are, all the other rooms are in use.” Bubba relaxed and entered the room. Bubba felt good since he had seen one of these machines on TV. “Are there commercials?” His question fell on deaf ears as word was already getting around about Bubba After lying down on the table, the nurse greased up the sonogram wand and about half of Bubba’s exposed body. “Lie still and take a big breath and hold it as she pushed the wand down to see his gall bladder.” Whoa, Nurse, you keep pushing down that hard down there and you will get mighty wet when the hose bursts!” She lightened up a bit but he still felt it and prayed she would go faster. The nurse slowly checked his gall bladder, kidneys, prostrate, lungs and heart. By now Bubba was wiggling his feet a lot, all the while wishing she would take the shortest road home instead of the scenic route. By the end of the exam he was definitely swollen and ached to go. After a quickie towel rub down to get the grease off, they headed for the lab to take a specimen which he so eagerly wanted to give.

Standing by the door, she gave him the instructions, “fill the bottles then you can vacate yourself completely. Call me when you are done.” Bubba walked in and just stood there. On the table was 50 little bottles, he counted them to be sure, “well, she said fill them.” He struggled a lot as he tried to fill those little bottles using something with the pressure of a 6” fire hose. Needless to say, some was spilled. About a half hour later the nurse knocked, “what in the Sam Hill are you doing, are you done yet?” Bubba nodded and told her to come in. She about fainted at the sight of 50 bottles. “I am sorry I ran out and had to spread it around for all the bottles to have the same amount. The nurse shook her head and asked him to follow her to the next room.

At this door she held three wooden sticks. “I need a stool sample placed in a small jar. One jar, she emphasized.” “Well that stool over there is a great sample of a milking stool and I don’t think I can use the Popsicle sticks to break it down to fit!” The nurse groaned. “Please, I need a sample of your #2” Bubba’s eyes lit up as now knew what he must do. For the next 15 minutes he sat there holding a small cup between his legs hoping when the time is right he could catch it. To his dismay, he had the runs and combined with the grease from a previous exam, he had no chance to catch it. “Gee, that little squirt was fast as lightening, maybe next time Bessie has a calf I can use some grease to help her get the calf out faster.” Using the Popsicle sticks he managed to scrape enough off his arms to fill a cup. Walking out the door, covered in crap holding 2 dirty Popsicle sticks and an overflowing cup with Bubba chewing on the third stick was more than the nurse could bear. She screamed and dared not look into the lab room to what disaster awaited her. After a quick shower even though the smell never really washes off, they proceeded to the next exam.

Next was the eye exam. The nurse explained what to do. “Read the smallest line you can see.” Bubba proudly beamed, “Lady Jockey 26” “what? She queried. Bubba quickly answered … “your underwear label, it was the smallest thing I saw!” She smiled … “No, the lines on that sight chart.” “Oh, and Bubba failed miserably with no letters read right. Can I do it my way?” The nurse nodded. Bubba quickly found a broom handle, stuck a tack into the end as a sight, backed down to the end of the hallway and sighted his makeshift gun and promptly read the smallest line. “Wow, 20/10” Bubba beamed, “gotta be a good squirrel hunter iffen I want to feed the family. Those critters are hard to get when they hide in the fork of a tree.”

With the last test done, Bubba went downstairs, gathered up Bucky and headed home to await his 6 month follow-up.