Ooops, I forgot

Another milestone in a parent's life has come and gone. My daughter has graduated from High School. Actually, she graduated on 08 June 2008, but I forgot I had wrote this and just found it as I was purging my files. So I have cleaned it up some and will finally get it posted.

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I can only imagine what she was like as the early years passed by but I am thankful God has allowed me to be a small part in her life the last 2 years. She has grown up so much I almost don't recognize her. Oh, I know who she is from her physical attributes but who she is inside is harder to see. But as soon as she says "I love You" I know. I marvel that in spite of my best efforts to get in the way, she has reached a goal that many don't reach.

I saw her struggle with Mathematics and Spelling wondering if she would ever "get it." No matter what she did, it never seemed to be good enough. But now I see it was good enough for the School System. You see, I saw her as my daughter and nothing is ever good enough except perfection. She is better than that I thought. But now sitting half a football field away in the hot evening sun, she was right. When I tried to smother her perhaps to keep her as a small child ... I had to let her go and by letting go I would give her the chance to come back not as a small child but a woman capable and ready to take on life. Perhaps we were all in school with her. She was learning how to cope with life and we were learning how to let go. So in reality, she made the "A" and we made the "C".

When we stood there arguing that night before the black gulf separated us for a season, I think it was fear on my part ... fear she wasn't ready. How could she make it on her own like that? Yes, we didn't see eye to eye, and yes, in many things we still don't. I wasn't seeing her as the person she was but as the little girl with pigtails carrying the barbie lunch box of years long past. But she is being who she is with some small amount of influence from me. It is hard to let that child ... or grown woman ... go. But she has survived 12 years of school and is ready for the next phase of life. Do I agree with all she says or does, no, but she is a sum of me, mom and her. God has given her to us for a season. To teach and guide ... now it is time to let her go and let him lead and guide her to the next point in her life. I now must become her greatest cheerleader and support her as she uses what we taught her. I must learn to stand back but be close enough to catch her when life shoves her down. So I wonder who has learned the most or grown up the most.

Am I proud of her ... yes I am. Do I love her ... yes ... more than I can say. Would I do this all over again ... in a heart beat.